Wikivoyage:Joke articles/Cocobanana Beach

COCOBANANA BEACH is in Upper Caisse, San Serriffe.

Get in

The only safest way to get here is by jeep. You can try another way by sea but beware of the sharks because many sharks want to be your friends.

Get around

You can see shark palace in the bottom of the sea, but you have to have permission from immigration office.

See

Cocobanana Beach is, of course, famed for its vast expanse of white sand and its bevy of Serriffean lovelies wearing only Flong thongs, a garment prepared from coconut husk that can also be used to remove pieces of swarfega from between your teeth. It should, however, be noted that the Flong thongs are traditionally worn only by men who have passed the demanding initiation rites of the Very Brotherly Fraternity of the Homoglyph, and women usually opt for burlap sacks, or go naked, instead.

Cocobanana has suffered somewhat from development recently, with some residents objecting that the giant boulders of rock dumped from the nearby quarry onto the beach detract from the scenic beauty. However, protests have quieted down after mine management, yielding to public pressure in a sign of the times, gave residents the democratic option of having the boulders quarried to either the beach or on top of their huts.

Do

You can be sharks's friend by visiting them in their palace.

Buy

There is only one mall around here selling cattles.

Eat

There is no restaurant here, so you have to fish by yourself.

Drink

You can drink water from the wells.

Sleep

There is only one hotel around here, but beware of the mosquitos.

Splurge

Cocobanana Beach Resort, on National Highway 1, . Visitors to Cocobanana Beach Resort never cease to be amazed by its stunning appearance and the level of services available, and often leave with indelible memories of their experience. For easy access, National Highway 1 runs right through the resort, and complimentary donkey carts to the beach (17 km away) are provided weekly.

Stay safe

Beware of locals with large sacks over their shoulder contacting you about purchase of foreign tubers. Remember: possession of foreign vegetables is a crime. Also, some of the local law enforcement officials pose as tuber salesmen to trap foreign visitors. If you are a victim of one of these traps, a payment offer 2,000dNr will normally allow you to go on your way (and you can keep the tubers).

Go next

If you want to get out fast from this place just call 911.