Talk:Industrialization of the United States

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Ground Zero in topic Copyedits per WV:tone et al.

Troy (New York)

edit

Troy should be listed on somewhat of the same basis as Albany (New York), only more so. I just added some very basic context in Troy (New York)#Understand, but there are articles, such as in the New York Times Travel Section some years back, that cover Troy's history and architectural importance more fully. Ikan Kekek (talk) 22:57, 11 May 2015 (UTC)Reply

Good idea. /Yvwv (talk) 23:14, 11 May 2015 (UTC)Reply
I enlarged Troy (New York)#Understand and created a listing here, though I don't know the lat/long. Ikan Kekek (talk) 05:30, 13 May 2015 (UTC)Reply
Coordinates can be found in the {{geo|123|45}} tag in the end of the article, or through the map icon at right at the top of the article. /Yvwv (talk) 12:45, 13 May 2015 (UTC)Reply
Thanks. I don't know why I didn't think of looking at the end of the article. Ikan Kekek (talk) 20:29, 13 May 2015 (UTC)Reply

Nashville?

edit

We've listed New Orleans, the birthplace of jazz and Memphis, the place where the blues was first recorded. What about Nashville, the center of the country music industry? Country music as a genre exists largely because there was a large-scale immigration of poor white Southerners in parallel to the Great Migration of black Southerners. Wherever they went, they brought their love of down-home music from their small towns and farming communities with them. But perhaps some of you might know more about the manufacturing history of Nashville, which I am not up on. Ikan Kekek (talk) 10:30, 17 May 2015 (UTC)Reply

That's a good one; the city seems to have a lot of industrial heritage, too. /Yvwv (talk) 18:53, 17 May 2015 (UTC)Reply

Time period

edit

I don't agree with this:

The industrialization of the United States truly began during the American Civil War in the 1860s, and was concluded with World War II in the 1940s.

What about the boom times in the 50s? American industry actually was going strong until the early 70s. Ikan Kekek (talk) 23:10, 17 May 2015 (UTC)Reply

The United States history is too complex to fit into the same article (as there is much interest in some specific events, such as the American Civil War and the Old West), so we need to split it up, somehow. The Civil War and World War II were historical turning points, so having an article on the years from the 1960s to the 1940s seemed appropriate. Then, a name was needed. I can edit the introduction to clarify this reasoning. /Yvwv (talk) 01:05, 18 May 2015 (UTC)Reply

American Industrial Tour

edit

Interesting enough, many industrial cities in the north-east are on the same line, with the oldest ones in the east. It seems like a good concept for an itinerary; starting in Boston, going on to New York City, Detroit and Chicago, where it connects to Route 66. /Yvwv (talk) 01:28, 18 May 2015 (UTC)Reply

I like the idea, though it might come dangerously close to a "personal itinerary" .... Hobbitschuster (talk) 16:04, 18 May 2015 (UTC)Reply
Launched as Manufacturing Belt. Let's see where it goes. /Yvwv (talk) 18:24, 18 May 2015 (UTC)Reply

Usable or more?

edit

Cab this be upgraded in status? Hobbitschuster (talk) 22:25, 11 July 2017 (UTC)Reply

Copyedits per WV:tone et al.

edit

I made a bunch of copyedits per WV:tone and other Wikivoyage policies and guidelines to improve the readability of the article. The were reverted by User:Hobbitschuster for "manifold worsening" of the text. This restored a formatting error (WV:tdf), redundancies ("daily 7 days a week", "is currently"), and a capitalization error "Art Deco" is a proper noun). It also restored a grammatical error ("Another former industrial city that currently known for its breweries and dairy products." does not have a predicate, which sentences must have to be sentences.)

Most of them are pretty clearly with Wikivoyage policies and guidelines, si I have restored those. I have not restored the following edits, which are more subjective. I believe that these are consistent with WV:tone, and invite discussion:

1. Existing version:

"New York and Chicago saw massive immigration both from other parts of the US and from abroad"

Proposed version:

" New York and Chicago received massive immigration from other parts of the US and from abroad"

Rationale:

"It saw..." is a trite construction that is best avoided. Wikipedia calks it w:journalese. This the only use of it the I changed in this article. There were two others that I did not change, as this seemed the most suited to being rewritten in a non-trite way.

2. Existing version:

"American football, a sport initially almost exclusively played by high school and college amateurs."

Proposed version:

"American football, a sport that was at first almost exclusively played by high school and college amateurs "

Rationale:

WV:tone encorages us to write in a lively style. While adverbs are a necessary part of the English language, they are not lively. Writing can be improved by avoiding adverbs where other constructions can be used. That doesn't mean eliminating all adverbs, just reducing the use of them (in case anyone is going to make a reductio ad absurdem argument here).

3. Existing version:

"Country music was originally classed as "Hillbilly Records""

Proposed version:

"Country music was first classed as "Hillbilly Records" "

Rationale:

As above.

4. Existing version:

"Originally came to prominence as the main center of the California gold rush"

Proposed version:

" It first came to prominence as the main center of the California gold rush "

Rationale:

As above, and to provide a subject for the sentence.

While Hobbitschuster does not seem to like me trying to improve the writing style if our articles, he does this too, and not always to good effect. Ground Zero (talk) 23:09, 20 March 2019 (UTC)Reply

As there has been no response for two weeks, I've implemented changes to address these issues, using some of the changes above, and using some new wording. Disputes are resolved in Wikivoyage through discussion, and not through reverting without discussion. Ground Zero (talk) 22:19, 2 April 2019 (UTC)Reply

Return to "Industrialization of the United States" page.